dear salesman

Here are some pointers for the next sales person who calls my office to schedule an appointment.

1. Don't refer to my business by the wrong name throughout our entire phone conversation.
   
2. Don't call me back 10 minutes later, laughing, and insisting you know what my business name is.
   
3. Don't show up 40 minutes late. (I am busy and don't have time to wait for you.)
4. Your first action in my office shouldn't be to hand me your business card and snicker while you say, "So, you won't forget who I am." (Don't worry, I won't. You're already making a memorable statement.)
5. Don't give me excuses about your tardiness.
6. Don't quote statistics about that other business you referred to me as, and when I correct you, don't ask if I am sure.
7. Don't ask what our marketing plans are and they insult one of them. I promise I know more about what you think you are talking about, and what's good for my business.
   
8. Please remember to tell me exactly what you do, and how you can help me. Because remember, you were late and are wasting my time.
9. Yes, I gave you my card and agreed for you to send me more information, but beware. That email you send will go automatically to my trashcan.
   
10. And no, I will not be calling you back.
    

Sincerely,
Amanda Etter