people, we need to talk

To my adoring fans. I am sorry I have been away for so long. I have been through so much in such a short amount of time, and quite frankly I think I am suffering from post traumatic, missing a part of my body-syndrome. Yes, this is a real recently diagnosed problem from my vet, Dr. Allen. I highly recommend him, I will forward his number if necessary.

A week ago today my parents took me on an early morning car ride much to my surprise. I was happy, elated and you know, tongue sticking out of mouth ecstatic. We arrived at Dr. Allen's office, I was suspicious at first, but my hesitations went way. Like I said I like Dr. Allen. But I quickly remembered previous conversations with mom and dad:

Mom/Dad: "Rom, your *expletives* are showing, bumble bee tuna!"
Romulus: *Weird, questioning look*

... another conversation

Mom/Dad: "Rom, soon your *expletives* won't be showing, bumble bee tune!"
Romulus: *Sad look. Then I begin to look below my tail, and proceed to get yelled at!

So, they LEFT me there for the day! They didn't come back until, well I don't tell time because you know I'm a dog. But it was a long time, past two meal times. All I know was I felt funny and I was hungry. And weird thing was that I was walking stiff. Later I was missing two very important parts of my exterior anatomy - if you know what I mean.

Mom and Dad thought that would settle me down, they've got another thing coming. My bark is louder, the holes in the backyard are bigger and I have sat on mom a few times. She is awfully comfy!

Shows them!